The One about Brie

Q: What happened after the explosion at the French cheese factory?

A: All that was left was de brie.

Our New Weber

Geoff: Hey, I am thinking about taking the plunge and making this purchase... it's black, made of aluminum and stainless steel, and the fuel won't be that expensive. 

Me: OK...

Geoff: It has great features. There is a built-in thermometer, a cool touch handle, and a high capacity ash tray.

Me: Sounds great, but an ash tray? You don't smoke.

Geoff: Well I want to start. It requires some assembly -- I'll really have to make sure the wheels are on tight. You don't want them falling off.

Me: ... I guess that's true. What kind of car is this again?

Geoff: ... uhh... it's a grill.



Oh.

Right.

A grill.


I was very happy once I figured out that the smoking Geoff wanted to do involved salmon, and not les cigarettes. 

We bought the charcoal grill Geoff was pining for on Amazon, because the pricing was on point, and because, Prime. It's Weber's 22.5-inch One Touch Gold Kettle Grill, and man oh man was Geoff excited.

Here are some photos of the inaugural spin.
We made simple kebobs with filet mignon, red pepper, red onions, and mini-portobello mushrooms.

Cubby says: are you planning to drop any pieces?

On the lookout now for good grill recipes to try.

Lord of the Lite Brewing Day 2014

Also known as "we didn't get tickets to Dark Lord Day," the North Shore Men's Brewing Club had their first brew day of the year on April 26! 

The day was cold and full of terrors, but my wonderful brother-in-law saved the day and made us a roaring fire on the back patio.

Even though they're technically a "men's" brewing club, the day was enjoyed by all -- male, female, and canine. Equal opportunity beer lovin'.

North Shore Men's Brewing Club
Lord of the Lite Brewing Day 2014

American Amber Ale and Ruby Red Grapefruit Hefeweizen

Can't wait to try the finished product!

Mulch Magic

I spent my Friday in the sexiest way possible (which, if you don't know, is spreading mulch.) 

We were delighted to learn that the Lake Bluff Public Works department uses all the yard waste it picks up from around town to make mulch that is free for residents to take and use.

The mulch pile is impressively high...

We scooped up three - count 'em - three - truckloads of mulch to spread around our yard. It was such hard work but the yard looks so much better.

It turns out that mulch is preferable to patches of dirt with scraggly weeds. Who knew.

The Time we Sawed Our Box Spring in Half

The second floor of our 1930 Sears kit house* was never intended to be an actual living space - it was originally an attic meant for storing skeletons and cobwebs and misbehaving children. Sometime over the years, the second floor was converted to two bedrooms and a bathroom, making extensive use of dormers. A dormer, as I understand it, is basically just popping out a piece of the roof to make a different roof so you can have a nice big square room instead of a sad little triangle room.

*Suspected. We haven't been able to 100% confirm.

Impressive artistic rendering

The upstairs bedrooms in our house are pretty large... It’s the staircase leading to them that is not. The staircase is made for tiny 1930’s people. It was most certainly not sized with 21st century furniture in mind.

During our move, with much grunting and sweating, the movers got our queen-sized mattress upstairs by folding it into a U shape and wedging it up the narrow opening. When it came to the box spring, the moving foreman looked at the door frame, looked at the box spring, then looked back at me and sadly shook his head. “Are you sure it won’t fit? Can’t you force it up there?” I asked. 

No dice.

And that was that. The box spring spent the night in the garage. (Don’t worry, it was elevated so it wasn’t touching the ground.)

Over the course of the next week, Geoff and I slept with our mattress on the floor, like hippies, while we figured out what to do. We saw three options:

1) Buy something new. There are solutions you can buy: a split box spring (which is basically two box spring pieces that you fit under your one mattress), a platform bed (which you can assemble right in the room), or a pop-up box spring (which seems like a suspicious magic trick that could fail at the worst possible time, i.e., the middle of the night during a really good dream);

2) Find a way to get our existing box spring upstairs. The laws of physics meant that something was going to have to give - we’d either have to break the wall or break the box spring; or

3) Continue sleeping with the mattress directly on the floor, in perpetuity.

We really didn’t want to have to buy anything new. All of the solutions in option #1 were going to cost at least $100, maybe significantly more, and in general we try to use what we already have. We also really didn’t want to keep sleeping on the floor - it was too hot, and made me feel like a college student.

Which left option #2. We we would either break the wall or break the bed. We decided - quite bravely, I think - to try sawing the box spring in half.

This is the story of how we did it in six easy steps.

Step 1: Materials. We gathered our materials. We needed:

a) a saw;

b) some scissors;

c) wood boards to rebuild parts of the frame;

d) a drill;

e) heavy duty screws.

We also borrowed a staple gun from my parents, which Geoff proceeded to be silly with. North Shore gangster.

Disclaimer: Don't actually shoot staples this way.

Step 2: Alcohol. We had a drink. You know, for courage.

Step 3: Surgery. I used the scissors to cut the thin fabric on the bottom of the box spring (what is that stuff for, anyway?) I sliced it right down the middle and pulled it back a bit to give us access to the wooden innards. Geoff sawed the frame right down the middle. It made a huge mess and required much sweeping afterwards.

Step 4: Muscle. We bent (!) the box spring in half and jimmied it up the stairs.

Step 5: Structure. Geoff rebuilt the box spring using wood boards to support the frame where it was cut. We secured the boards with screws.

Step 6: Cosmetics. We used the staple gun to re-attach the thin fabric on the bottom of the mattress. We pulled it taut and closed it up like so:

And now... we have a real bed (that is never, ever, ever leaving that room).

The One about Hockey

Q: Why did the referee have to call a time-out in the leper hockey game?

A: There was a face-off in the corner.

Blackhawks play the Blues tonight as part of the Stanley Cup playoffs - let's go Hawks!

Photo from the Blackhawks Blog

Travel Throwback: Cinque Terre

I went to book club last night to discuss Beautiful Ruins, and it really had me reminiscing about Cinque Terre, Italy's famous five little fishing villages linked together by a trail of seaside steps.

I visited Cinque Terre for a few days back in 2007 with my friend Erin while we were studying abroad. Since we were students, we tried to travel on the cheap. That resulted in some... interesting accomodations... like a room that was, quite literally, a hole carved in a rock-face cliff, with an extension cord coming in for electricity. I think the technical term for it is "cave." 

The view, which immediately made up for the cave.

Cinque Terre can be described in just a word: Romantic.

Even the names of the five towns sound romantic. Say them: Monterosso. Vernazza. Corniglia. Manarola. Riomaggiore.

The other defining feature of Cinque Terre for me was the aerobics. If you eschew the train and choose to walk the trail, which you should, you will be going up steps and down steps. Up steps and down steps. Up steps and down steps. Stop and pretend to take a picture so you can catch your breath. Up steps and down steps. And so on and so forth.

We hiked each of the five towns along the coast, sampling fresh seafood, local spirits, and stopping to swim when we could. 

Strawberry milkshakes, in retrospect a strange beverage choice while swimming.

This is definitely one of those places that you leave a little piece of your heart behind. Has anyone else left a piece? I hope it's keeping mine company.

Lake Bluff in the Springtime Part 1

It's well into April, and people and plants around Lake Bluff are waking up.

Thin coverings of Siberian squill (a type of scilla) are popping up in everyone's yards, including mine. Ours are very purple, in contrast to other locations where they are bluer.

Siberian squill is invasive, but it is deer resistant and requires no maintenance so I'm just leaving it as-is. These flowers will disappear when spring does.

Everyone seems to be out and about, especially those with dogs. Here is the handsomest pair I've seen.

The west entrance to Ravine Park.

The One about Moles

A family of moles hibernated all winter.

One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around.

"Mother Mole!" he called back down into the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, sweet honey!" 

Mother Mole ran up and squeezed in next to Father Mole. "You're wrong," she cried, "It's maple syrup! How sweet! It smells wonderful!"

The baby mole, still down in the hole, sulked. He said, "All I can smell down here is molasses."

The One about Marching

Here's a joke about Springtime.

Can Februray March? 

No, but April May!

Easter 2014

On Easter I tried to make -- and travel with -- a banana cream pie. It was a monumental failure, to the tune of liquid banana cream sloshed all over the backseat of Geoff's car. I think I need to find a different recipe... 

Here we are, in Vernon Hills, Illinois, enjoying time with family and lots and lots of Easter ham (and no pie):

Pre-ham

Post-ham

Holy Saturday at Wrigley Field

Still a little brisk at the ballpark.

Cubs 8, Reds 4.

Shivered our way through in Section 110.

One Step at a Time

Did you know that concrete steps can weaken over time, especially in areas that experience frequent freeze and thaw?

I did not.  

When we returned from our trip to Jamaica, we discovered that our back steps, which previously conveniently provided us access from the back door to the ground, were crumbling. The middle stair had developed a fist-sized hole, and the rest was quickly caving in. No bueno. No seguro.

We had to bust those suckers out.

You might think I don't know how to use this thing properly. You'd be right.

Cheaper than therapy. 

I asked Geoff if we could install an escalator, or waterslide, but in the end we went with... steps.

We're still trying to figure out what to do about a handrail. In the meantime, please try not to fall into the bush.

Trailgaiting at Kettle Moraine

Trailgate, verb. Meaning to camp out overnight in a pre-cleared area with built-in fire ring, often in a state park or designated camping area. Light hiking optional. Usually accompanied by whiskey and ghost stories. Gateway drug to real camping.

Wisconsin State Parks are our location of choice. Here we are this past weekend at Kettle Moraine South.

King of the tent

Margaritas in a can, a disgusting trailgaiting tradition. FYI, ras(z?)pberry was not an improvement.

Cubby dog likes to camp out too.

Studies in Wisconsin Bark, No. 1

Happy trails to you...

Reading List: Divergent, Insurgent, and Allegiant by Veronica Roth

    

Positives:

Ziplining off the Hancock!

Negatives:

Teen angst.

Suggested Reading Environment:

At a coffee shop in the Merchandise Merciless Mart, with a piece of chocolate cake.

I tore through all three of these. Did you know that the author, Veronica Roth, is only in her 20s? Talk about making me feel like I need to hurry up and do something already. Too bad that making up annoying rhyming songs isn't bringing me fame and fortune --(it worked for Raffi, but so far, not for me.)

Here is the Amazon description:

In Beatrice Prior’s dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can’t have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.

During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles alongside her fellow initiates to live out the choice they have made. Together they must undergo extreme physical tests of endurance and intense psychological simulations, some with devastating consequences. As initiation transforms them all, Tris must determine who her friends really are—and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes exasperating boy fits into the life she's chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she's kept hidden from everyone because she's been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers unrest and growing conflict that threaten to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves . . . or it might destroy her.

Admit it... Divergent was better than Hunger Games. 

April (Snow) Showers

Weather on the North Shore may be capricious, unforgiving, and often annoying, but one thing can be said: it's never dull.

April 14 snowshowers, as seen in our front yard.

"It'll never stick." -- Me.

Wrong.