The One about a Leaf

A little boy sat at home, reading his family's Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.

Suddenly, as he turned a page, something fell out. He reached down and picked it up - it was an old leaf that had been pressed between the pages. It looked as though it must have been there for many years.

"Mom, look what I found!" called the boy.

"What is it, dear?" asked the mother.

With great astonishment, the boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

No One is Born a Great Cook

"And the great lesson embedded in the book is that no one is born a great cook, one learns by doing.  This is my invariable advice to people:  Learn how to cook - try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless and above all have fun."

-Julia Child, My Life in France

Maya Angelou

The poet Maya Angelou died yesterday. The President shared this quote of hers on his twitter feed.

(Picture taken last week at the Chicago Botanic Garden.)

Rest in peace, Maya Angelou.

Cubby on Packing

"Hey, what are ya doin'? Packing? Cool, I'll just lay here on top of your stuff so you can bring some of my fur with you. Good thing it's spring so I am shedding a lot."

Wine Tasting at the Chicago Botanic Garden

The Chicago Botanic Garden held an event called Grapevines & Wines last week, and our very smart and wonderful friends got tickets and shared them with us.

I feel lucky to live next to a world-class cultural institution like the CBG. It's always a pleasure to visit and enjoy the gardens. This event made it even better (by adding wine!)

Snacks

I love walking around the gardens and greenhouses and just looking. The variety of plant life at the CBG is impressive.

Inside the greenhouse

I think I need to find more excuses to get out here this summer...

Memorial Day in Lake Bluff

Memorial on the village green

Scranton Alley and the library geese

Wildflowers in the ravine

Thinking today of those who died while serving the USA.

The One where Sherlock Holmes Goes Camping

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip together. After a good meal over the fire and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Several hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"And what does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a moment.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Someone has stolen our tent."

Red Window Boxes

Notice anything different about my house?

I know, a giant bee attack is big news. But even more shocking, I finally got my window boxes in...

I am in love with the red Adirondack chairs in our front yard, so I went for a red theme in the boxes this year to match.

I know nothing about window boxes, so I am lucky that my mother is helping me. The scarlet begonias are a gift from her - one day I just showed up at home and there was a flat of begonias on my front porch. It's nice to have a nice mom.

I also put in Red Hot Sallys and a silver lamium for filler. The tag for the Sallys says that they attract hummingbirds. I will be over the moon if we get any!  

The window boxes are certainly making the house feel more summer-ready.

North Shore Ramp Butter

Do ramps grow on the the North Shore?

Yes, yes they do!!

I don't know how I failed to have these wild garlicky onions on my radar all these years, especially since the name "Chicago" comes from the Native American Miami-Illinois word for ramps: shikaakwa (chicagoua). So presumably there should be lots of ramps around. I just never noticed.

A few weeks ago I asked around for advice on foraging for ramps. They only grow for a short time in the spring. Most ramps are harvested from wild populations; they like densely shaded and forested areas, especially around water. Which is lucky for me, because I live in a densely shaded and forested area, with lots and lots of water.

I got some very good and generous advice. I ventured out with the dog and a spade and a disguise (since technically, you are not supposed to remove plants from most of the aforementioned shaded and forested areas) and had a look around. I dug up and replanted a few things before I made a positive ramp ID -- success! They look like lillies from the top side, with a pinkish or maroon shaft and a white bulb with roots at the bottom. It's easy to determine right away from the bulb: it smells like a cross between garlic and leeks. It's quite strong.

North Shore Ramps (freshly dug)

The key to being a good and responsible ramp hunter is not to take too much. You want them to grow back year after year, and you have to assume that you aren't the only one trying to find them. It's best to try to find a big swath of ramps and take only a few.

This is also why many people have "secret" ramp hunting spots. And why I'm not going to show exactly where I found mine. I will, however, share as much ramp butter as I can, because it is so so so good.

North Shore Ramp Butter

A handful of ramps, carefully dug up with your own two paws
At least 3 cups water
3 sticks unsalted butter, softened (room temperature)
1 teaspoon salt

Snap off the roots of the ramp bulbs. Remove the brown slimy casing that protects the bulb. Rinse the ramps thoroughly. Ensure all dirt is rinsed away from the leaves.

Place whole ramps in a heat-safe bowl, tucking the leaves into the bowl too. Use your teapot to heat water to boiling. Remove from heat and pour over the ramps. Allow to sit for 3 full minutes.

Remove the ramps from the water and set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, whip the butter. 

Once the ramps have cooled, place whole ramps in a food processor and pulse.

Add the chopped ramps to the butter and continue to whip. Add salt to taste.

I read that the ramp butter should store in the fridge for up to a month, but I bet it won't last that long. It's good on potatoes, fish, chicken, veggies, and almost everything else. I like it best spread onto hot bread rolls.

Ramp butter - tastes like spring!

All That is Gold Does Not Glitter

All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.

-J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring 

Cubs-Yankees May 20

It was a great night to see the Yankees play at Wrigley. Derek Jeter was honored, they gave him a #2 scoreboard panel from the historic Cubs scoreboard, and - oh yeah - the Cubs WON! 

Here are the Yankees on the field, with Masahiro Tanaka pitching. The Cubs are the first team to give Tanaka a loss.

Seen from section 205

It rained and poured - we're happy our seats are under cover!

The One about the Farmer's Market

A pretty young woman at the farmer's market asked a vendor for the price of his apples.

He winked at her and said, "One kiss apiece."

The young woman paused, then smiled and asked for a dozen apples.

The vendor gladly complied. Upon handing over the apples, he declared that he was owed a dozen kisses.

The young woman winked back at him, and pointed to the elderly gentleman standing behind her.

"Grandpa's paying."

Maifest 2014

Maifest 2014 will forever be known as "The Day of the World's Worst Pour":

I celebrated at home in Lake Bluff with some fruende. We had brats, sauerkraut, kartoffeln, kohl, zwiebel, apfelmus, bretzeln, and plenty of senf and mostrich. And beer of course!

Aren't jokes about German sausage the wurst?

You are Not Alone

“So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone."

Roald Dahl, Matilda

Good Thoughts

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

 --Roald Dahl, The Twits

The One about a Red Shirt

Long ago, there was a much-feared pirate captain who was said to never turn away from battle. Other pirates would try to overcome and board his ship, but he always fought them off.

One day while sailing, the lookout in the crow's nest said, "I see a ship coming! They're headed straight for us!"

The crew started to panic, but the pirate captain calmly said to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt."

The first mate got the captain's red shirt and he put it on. The captain and his crew fought the opposing ship and killed or drowned every last man. None fought harder than the pirate captain.

The next day, the lookout cried down, "Another ship, larger this time! These scallywags look quite mean!"

The captain said again to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt." Again the captain and his crew fought and prevailed over the other ship, and they were not overtaken.

Exhausted from two days of hard fighting, the men sat on deck and tried to recover. "Captain," said the first mate, "Why do you always wear your red shirt during battle?"

"You see, my boys," answered the captain, "The key to winning is to never show weakness. If you are injured, a red shirt will hide your blood, and they will not see that you are weakened." 

The pirates marveled at the bravery of their captain.

The very next morning, the lookout called down once more. "There are 10 ships coming straight for us, all with boarding parties! We are doomed!"

"Mate," the captained called to his first mate. 

"Yes, Captain? Do you want your red shirt?" he asked.

The captain paused and looked out at the 10 ships quickly approaching. "No," he said. "Bring me my brown pants."


Paraphrased and slightly reworked from Game of Thrones Season 4, Episode 6.

The One about 2x4s

A guy pulls into a lumberyard to buy two-by-fours. He goes into the office and tells the salesman what he needs.

"How long do you need them?" asks the sales clerk.

"Oh... let me check," the customer responds as he makes a call on his cell phone.

A couple of minutes later, the customer hangs up, comes back to the sales clerk, and says, "A pretty long time. We're building a house."

Cubby Turns One!

Cubby is one today! Maybe she'll start acting like a good dog now. Probably not though. She's a dreadful beast through and through.

Instead of a birthday cake I am cooking Cubby an unseasoned chicken breast - what can I say, it's what she asked for. Dogs are weird.

We get stopped daily (really, daily) by people asking what kind of dog she is. Once someone asked us if she was a dingo. To which we replied, yeah, guy, we're raising a dingo.

In reality, she's half collie mix and half Catahoula leopard dog. Catahoulas are often used as working dogs on Wisconsin farms. One particular farm just happened to decide not to neuter their pup, and a smokin' hot stray collie mix just happened to skitter by, and... well... you get it. 

Cubby and siblings with their mama.
These two puppy pictures are from Richland Area Rescue

We adopted Cubby from Richland Area Rescue in South-Central Wisconsin. She's skittish (possibly imprinted from her mother), she has an insatiable hunger for shoes, and she wakes me up at 5:55AM every morning, even weekends, but we love her anyway and we've never looked back.

Here are some more pictures of Cubby's first year.

Rescued from certain and awful fate of becoming a Packers fan, Cubby enjoys a taste for the finer things in Chicagoland cheering for the Bears. 

Scattering my neat leaf piles

Sad day, spay day

Chomping my flowers

At a winery in Michigan, mad because she can't have any wine.

Tearing pieces off the Christmas tree when we aren't looking, excellent holiday spirit.

Just sniffin'.

Doling out lots of unwanted facial kisses

"Helping" me paint - a.k.a. backing up into wet walls.

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY CUB!