Wednesday, August 27, 2014

My 30th Birthday

This is me on my 30th birthday.

I spent the weekend at Maquoketa Caves State Park in Maquoketa, Iowa, which is coincidentally about 30 miles west of the Iowa-Illinois border. I was accompanied by my steadfast camping companions, Geoff and Cubby Dog. We piled our gear, a few blankets, our headlamps, some beverages, and plenty of good cheer into my old Jeep and headed west into the setting sun.
Liberty road warrior

If this sounds poetic and romantic, it wasn’t, because we also left the printed directions and all the information about our campsite on the kitchen counter at home. And also I burned all of our paper maps the last time we were camping and didn’t have any kindling and I said, “Oh these old things? We’ll never need these stupid maps. Twenty-first century, dudes.” And once we veered off the interstate and onto county roads, our smartphones went from a few bars of service, to one bar, to no bars, to a message informing us, “NO SERVICE – YOU’RE LOST, YOU DUMMIES.”

We finally stumbled upon the state park in the pitch black night by sheer luck, and two friendly Iowa DNR rangers riding around in a golf cart in the dark (??) very kindly pointed us to our campsite. So actually I guess it was pretty great, and now I know I can set up our tent by myself in the dark of the night using only the light of the moon. Hashtag empowered.

The next day we hiked all the trails. We got to the park early and seemed to have it almost to ourselves for a few hours, which was a real treat. We scrambled up and down cliffs and bluffs. We leapt across a small river. We put on our headlamps and crawled in the caves, sometimes far, and sometimes not so far. We were adventurers for the day.









In the late afternoon we hopped back into the car and visited the nearby Tabor Family Winery. They let us taste just about everything. I’m no wine snob (I drink table wine on the regular), but I will opine that wine made from Iowa grapes is nothing to write home about. The fruit wines, though, are another story: Tabor gave us their cranberry wine, raspberry wine, and blackberry wine made in the port style, all of which were excellent and all of which we bought to serve ice cold with cheese as a final course at future fancypants dinner parties. We bought a bottle of the sparkling wine called "The Toast of Iowa” and drank it on the spot, outside, overlooking the Grant Wood-esque landscape.



We spent the night under the stars with a fire to roast our mallows, and we got the chance to talk about our dreams for our 30s.

I was sad to leave the next day but very happy to go home. My family made a birthday dinner for me, and my sister decorated the house like a boss:




There are so many things I like about this birthday: reconnecting with nature, unplugging from the constant pull of email and the internet, and plugging instead into the people in front of me. The luxury of having unscheduled and unstructured time. I like the beginning of feeling more comfortable in my own skin.  I can’t wait to see where my 30s take me next.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The One about a Snail

A snail slowly slimes his way into a car dealership.

"Can I help you, sir?" asks the salesman.

"I hope so," says the snail. "I'm looking for a really fast car."

"We have many cars that go fast," replies the salesman.

"Do you also do specialty paint jobs?" asks the snail.

"Why, yes, we do. What are you looking for?"

The snail says, "I'd like you to paint a large letter 'S' on the door." 

"That's a strange request," says the salesman. "Why would you want that?"

The snail says, "When I drive by, I want people to say, 'Look at that S-car go!'"

Monday, July 21, 2014

The One about Dinosaurs

What do you say when you see a blind dinosaur?


Do you think he saurous???

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Cubby on Painting

This week I painted my bedroom "aloof gray" by Sherwin Williams.




Modeled here by Cubby, who cried outside the closed door while I was painting until I let her in - then immediately rubbed her body all over the nearest wall of wet paint.


"Are you painting? Let's get some of my fur on that wall forever."

Gray paint, gray dog.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Cubs-Reds June 24

It's been so foggy and hazy in Chicago lately, and last night's Cubs-Reds game was no exception:



The Cubs must have had trouble seeing out there. They lost 6 to 1.

Casey watched with me:


She likes a plain dog.


I felt that I needed to add extra condiments to compensate, which resulted in an impressive mess. 

I got mustard everywhere, including my dress!

Cubs 1, Reds 6.

Friday, June 20, 2014

The One about Quitting

A guy went home from work one night and heard a voice.
The voice whispered to him, "Quit your job, sell your
house, take your money, and go to Vegas."

The man was disturbed about what he heard and ignored
the voice. The next day when he got home from work,
the same thing happened. The voice whispered to him,
"Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and
go to Vegas."

Again the man ignored the voice, though he was very
troubled by the event. Every day, the man was
tormented by the same voice when he came home from
work: " Quit your job, sell your house, take your
money, and go to Vegas."

Each time the man heard the voice he became
increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, he
succumbed to the pressure. He quit his job, sold his
house, got together all his money, and headed to
Vegas. The moment the man got off the plane in Vegas,
the voice told him, "Go to 
Caesars Palace."
So he hopped into a cab and rushed over to 
Caesars Palace.
As soon as he set foot in the casino, the voice
echoed, "Go to the roulette table." The man did as he
was told.

When he arrived at the roulette table, the voice
firmly told him, "Put all your money on 17."
Nervously, the man cashed in his money for chips and
then put them all on 17. The dealer wished the man
good luck and spun the roulette wheel.

Around and around the ball caromed. The man anxiously
watched the ball as it slowly lost speed, until
finally it settled into number... 21.

The voice said, "Damn..."